To Give or Not to Give

When I was a child I was told not to encourage beggars by giving alms to them, yet giving alms to the needy was extolled as a virtue in the bedtime stories my mother told us. I could not understand the difference between the two contradictory messages. Since ‘not giving’ suited me very well, I never really questioned my elders. I grew up thinking that beggars were a menace to society. I would not only not give any alms, but also offer them a piece of advice, ‘Why don’t you go and work somewhere?’ Sometimes I would lie, ‘I don’t have any money’, but then I would remember the moral of ‘Satya Narayan Katha’ where the same lie told by a merchant to a beggar turned his entire riches to dust. On such occasions I would reluctantly toss a coin in their open palms. Needless to say I was always left nursing feelings of guilt and remorse after my encounter with beggars (a common, unavoidable, everyday affair in our country).
When my younger son started noticing my behavior with beggars, he said something profound that changed my outlook forever. He said that if someone extends his arm to you to ask for something, the least you can do is- give. His innocent words set me thinking. Why do I have to be moralistic about giving? Is it easy to beg on the streets? If I want to give some money to someone just like that, will he/she take it? How difficult is it for me to ask for anything from anyone? It must be difficult for them as well. They have completely lost their dignity in deciding to beg, this must be the last resort for them. And even if they are doing it for easy money, who am I to sit in judgment?
Ever since that day I decided to give alms to everyone who extended his/her arm towards me. But old conditioning takes time to change. In my wisdom, I decided that it was okay to give to old destitute people and lepers (who had no choice but to beg), but I still could not encourage begging by children, and young women with infants in their arms. I reasoned that these are well bodied people who ought to earn their living by the brow of their sweat, just like the rest of us.
Even though I was giving alms now, it was more out of duty than pleasure. Sometimes I would give reluctantly, without looking the beggar in the eye. At other times I would think thoughts of lack while giving (such as- I am going to soon run out of money or I hope I don’t encounter any more beggars today). In short giving was not something that I did joyfully and out of a sense of abundance. I was not really comfortable with the thought of giving.
Then I read Deepak Chopra’s ‘Seven Laws of Success’. It was an eye opener. The simplicity of his logic floored me. ‘Whatever you give comes back to you many folds; provided you give with love and joy in your heart’. It reminded me of ‘the boomerang effect.’ Just like a boomerang curves in the air and comes back to you, what ever you ‘throw’ out to the world circles around and lands back at your step. I see this law constantly operating in my life and I am sure so do you. When I smile at someone, in most cases, they smile back. If I am kind to someone, they return my kindness. In a similar vein, when I complain to someone, they share their complaints with me. If I get angry at someone, they get angry with me. Some things come back to me instantly, while some take time. But the fact remains that whatever I give out comes back to me.
Ever since I have understood this truth, life has become much simpler. If I want more joy and happiness, I make it a point to bring happiness into other’s lives. Similarly when I need more money, I give some away. Now I do it from my heart, with a feeling of joy, gratitude and abundance. Knowing fully well that if I give from the space of feeling guilty because I think I should give even though I don’t want to, I will continue to create more feelings of guilt and of being deprived.
I also understand that if you plant one seed, you don’t just get one back. You get thousands! Similarly the Universe gives back my ‘giving’ to me in multiplication of thousands, not as a reward, but to fulfill my faith in abundance. When I give to someone out of love, I send a message of faith to the universe- the faith that my coffers will be replenished. And the Universe answers my faith in affirmative. It is as simple as that. There is no promise of increase unless we give freely.
All giving should be an expression of joy. We should give because of love. The feeling with which we give is the spirit of giving. When we give with joy, the energy we send forth is that of joy. This energy is the most important aspect of our giving. The energy we give out is the energy that will come back to us.
Now every time I give, I silently say these words, ‘There is a lot more where this comes from.’ After all I am just a channel; the real source of giving is the Universe. I have placed my complete faith in it and as a result of that I am a far happier person today. I love giving--- and I love receiving.


Life Positive, Jan 2008, Chitra Jha