The Eternal Quest

I was having a chat with Suma (the Chief Editor of Life Positive) when she mentioned that she had always wanted to answer various questions that keep popping up in young heads while they are on the verge of life. Since I have two sons in that stage right now, the idea interested me immensely. I immediately agreed to carry it forward. My next step was to call up my sons (one in Mumbai and other in Kolkata) and ask them about the unanswered questions that they and their friends deal with. The next day they came up with a list of questions, but most of them were career related. I was perplexed. Is this all that the young minds think about these days? Where is that existential angst that we experienced when we were of their age?

Now this question was thrown back at them. This time they came up with the kind of queries that I was expecting in the first place. I got ready to put on my ‘Life Skills Coach’s cap and write down some comprehensive answers. I was quite looking forward to this assignment. Giving ‘gyan’ to others is such fun after all! But my first born spoiled this fun for me. He said, “Ma, you can’t answer others’ questions for them. If someone has a question, that s/he wants to be answered, s/he can be certain that the answer to her/his question resides within her/him.” I couldn’t argue with this logic. These were my own words being thrown back at me! Yes, I firmly believe that if a desire has been placed in your heart, then all the mechanisms of its fulfillment are also revealed to you, if you care to look with in. Similarly, if a question pops up in your head, you just need to go within to get its answer. The only tool you need is your ‘willingness’.

The ball was back in my court! I decided to seek the solution from ‘the wise one’ who had posed the problem in the first place. He seemed slightly disappointed in me for not figuring it out by myself, and offered a simple solution, “Give the questions back to the people who asked them. Let them sit silently, get in touch with their inner self, and come up with their own answers. That way you would help them in empowering themselves and you won’t have to wrack your brain for the ‘right’ answers.” Wow! It sounded great (though I wasn’t too happy about his insinuations regarding my brain and stuff!). It seemed like a win-win situation.

So the stage was set. Each young person was given back his own question. The process of getting in touch with ‘the you-of- you’ (or I- of- I) was explained. They were asked to be ‘just willing’ to hear the answers, and have faith in the process. I was touched by their enthusiasm and openness to this new idea. (Why don’t we expose them to more of such stuff, I wonder?) They were to post their questions and the answers to me within a week, and they complied right on time. Some of them had such great experiences in the process that I feel confident they are hooked for life, just as I am! I must admit that this has been a great learning experience for me as well. For one, I have learnt to respect this young generation, like never before. I feel like clapping for them!

Well, here are some of those questions, along with the answers. These answers are enlightening enough, but if you have a special question of your own, then please follow the process and find your own special answers. You are sure to enjoy this search, just like these young men and women did!)


Shveta (20 years young)

Q- What is the purpose of my life?

Ans- The purpose of my life is to be the best that I can be. Everyday I must get better than what I was yesterday. I am not in competition with anyone. Everyone is growing at his/her own pace. I am here to just improve my own self. The choices that I make in my life are right for me, they may not be right for others. In any case I can only choose for my self. I can’t choose for others.

Mayank (22 years young)

Q- Can I go through life without being dishonest and corrupt?

Ans- Do you know any person who is honest, and happy? (He was asked a question for his question, in typical Socratic style!) If your answer is yes, then you’ve got your answer. Life is about living and letting live. It is about enjoying what you do. Can you enjoy being corrupt? If you can truly enjoy it, then make your choice. If your conscience agrees with your choice, it will let you know by making you feel both joyful and ecstatic. If instead of that you feel fear of being caught, then you know that this choice is not right for you.

Joy (21 years young)

Q- How can I achieve my goals?

Ans- First of all I must be clear about my goals. My goals should not only bring happiness to me, but also contribute in some way to the society at large. Once I am clear about a goal, I would be shown the way to its achievement. I will meet right people at the right time. The universe will conspire to make my dreams come true. Right opportunities will come my way, and I will be guided to make the best of them. It is the first step that is the most important one. Clarity opens the way for fulfillment.

Joe (19 years young)

Q- I am confused about what to do with my life. How do I get clarity?

Ans- It is very simple. There are some things that you love doing. Make a list of all those things. Don’t leave anything. Include watching television, playing computer games and listening to music, if you love doing any of these things. That love for these things was put in to your heart for some purpose. These are not mere time wasters as you have been led to believe. But you’ve got to be true to yourself. Put a thing down on your list only if you are 100% sure that you LOVE doing it. Now look at your list and try to figure out how to make a career out of these things that you absolutely love to do. You will get your answer there. Doing your labour of love makes work seem like play. Won’t you love to get paid for ‘playing’ all your life?


Ritika (21 years young)

Q- What is life really all about?

Answer- Life is about loving, sharing and enjoying. Life is about growing and learning. It is about having fun, and letting your hair down. It is about accepting things as they are, and not resisting them. Whatever we resist persists in our life. We give power to it by paying attention to it. So learn to accept things that you can’t change. But change things that you can. The important thing is to know the difference between the two. Learn to let go of resistance and let life in.

Niharika (20 years young)

Q- I find myself so full of anger and frustration. How can I get rid of these feelings?

Ans- Anger and frustration are a result of your resistance to the things as they are in your life right now. It is important to let out these feelings. Whenever you get angry, hit your pillow with all your might, get a punching bag, go for a run, or dance vigorously. Let the energy of anger dissipate. After that sit quietly and learn to accept things, people and situations as they are. The truth is that you have somehow attracted these very people, things and situations in your life. No, don’t protest! You may have done it unknowingly, unconsciously. But now reverse the process consciously. Think of the kind of people, things and situations you actually want in your life. Slowly but surely you will manifest these people and situations in your life. You are powerful, so don’t feel frustrated. Just use your power of thoughts.

(Niharika had the most profound experience. She is a changed person now. Changed for the better, that’s what her friends claim!)

Nikhil (19 years young)

Q- How do I decide what is right and what is wrong?

Ans- There is nothing that is absolutely right, and nothing that is absolutely wrong. Right and wrong are just matters of perception and conditioning. Each society, each family, each person has his own idea of what is right and what is wrong. The yardstick is individual, but the rules remain the same. If it feels good to you, and doesn’t harm anyone else, it is right for you. Listen to your body signals. It is the most accurate gauge of what is right and what is wrong for you. If your body sends signals of discomfort, it definitely isn’t right for you.
Abhijit (18 years old)

Q- What is true success?

Ans- Success is a process and not a goal. Each day you can count your successes and failures and decide if the day was successful or not. Success is cumulative, so successful days add up to successful lives. Deciding to do something (however trivial) and then doing it, or deciding not to do something (however important) and then not doing it, is being successful, as far as that thing or task is concerned. Count your successes everyday, you will get addicted to being successful.


Bikram (20 years young)

Q- Does one have to let go of idealism sooner or later?

Ans- It depends upon your ideal. If your ideal keeps resonating with you as you grow in life, you need not let go of it. But the day it loses its appeal, it is time to release it and form new ideals. Life is all about change. It can’t be static. Everything in this Universe is evolving all the time, including your ideas and ideals. Be true to yourself at every stage. You would then achieve your ideal.

Nikita (17 years young)

Q- Why do most adults seem less happy, less enthusiastic, and more burdened as they grow older?

Ans- These people are stuck in the webs of their own making. In their race to be more, have more, and do more, they have forgotten how to enjoy life. They are like robots. They are lost, yet no one can rescue them but themselves. They need to wake up and smell the roses, so to say! If you are clear about your purpose in life, that is to care and to share, you will never become like them. Life will be a song and a dance for you. Problems will come your way, but you will take them for what they truly are, great lessons of life in disguise of problems. You will overcome them with great equanimity and emerge a winner. You will always have that spark in your eyes, because you are special, as everyone else is. Unfortunately for them, they forgot this precious truth a long time ago.

Akshit (18 years young)

Q- What is this thing called God? I do not feel any closeness to God. Why do I need God?

Ans- God is just a name given to the unseen, but great Power that keeps this Universe in order. You may give it any name that you like. It doesn’t mind that! You are made of the same stuff that this Power is made of, so in a sense, you are God (or whatever you call It) too. This Power resides within you, in your DNA. You can connect with it any time you want to, by just desiring the connection. But you need to be silent to experience the connection. It is so subtle in the beginning that you might miss it if you are not too mindful. But eventually as you become more aware of this Power, you will feel it all the time, all around you. That will be a special day!


Aseem (22 years young)

Q- I look within but I do not find any resources to succeed in life. I am afraid. Is there any hope for me?

Ans- If you operate from the platform of fear, fear will be your constant companion. But if you shun its company and choose to befriend faith instead, all your fears will dissipate like the darkness does when the sun shines. You need to look within with the hope of finding answers, with total faith in your abilities. Only then will you find your real Power, and your life will be full of renewed hope and vigour.

Ashima (21 years young)

Q- Why do good people suffer?

Ans- Challenges in life are inevitable for so called good and bad people alike. But suffering, like being happy, is a choice that people make (again good or bad alike). Life teaches its lessons for your growth and evolution. If you choose to ignore the lessons and focus on the event alone, you invite suffering. Suffering is not inherent in the problem. It is but a reaction to a given situation. Good people (or even bad people for that matter) can choose not to suffer. If people learn to accept all life situations as opportunities for growth, there will be no suffering. But people have a long way to go, before achieving that stage.

Aakash (20 years young)

Q- Why is life so complicated?

Ans- Life is not complicated, we think that it is complicated, and in the process complicate it for ourselves. Life is actually very simple. We are given this life to experience growth, joy, love, and care. But we want to be one up on others. Now that is not acceptable to the life-giver. The Universe believes in abundance for all, while we believe in everything for I, me, and myself. This produces the contradictions, and the complications. If we begin to be less competitive, and more creative, all the complications will resolve by themselves. It is that simple.

Dia (21 years young)

Q- Why is there so much uncertainty in life?

Ans- Uncertainty is the spice of life. Learn to embrace it and accept it gratefully. How boring would life be if everything was known before hand. There would be no fun in living then. It is like reading the entire script of a movie, and then going to watch it. Would it be fun anymore? The beauty of life lies in its unfolding. Each day brings in new surprises, new challenges, and new gifts. The anticipation of a new day gives meaning to life. Uncertainty is your friend. It is the mother of all potential possibilities.


Shreya (22 years young)

Q- How do I get the best out of life?

Ans- Simple. You will get best out of life by giving it your best shot. You get what you give. So if you want love, give more love. If you want respect, give more respect. If you want to succeed, help someone succeed. Life always pays you back in your own coin. It is but a mirror of your inner self. It always reflects your true reality. So go ahead, do your best, and be your best. Life will always give you the best then.


P.S. - I was in for a great shock (and laughter later on) when I realized that my sons had played a prank on me. They gave me the answers from my own lectures to them, and their friends (like true friends!) played along. But I had the last laugh when I told them that the purpose of my exercise has been achieved; now that so many young people are privy to THE knowledge! Some food for thought!!


P.P.S- Well, these are the questions that most of us ask ourselves. These young people got readymade answers, but I hope that these answers will change their world for them; for no knowledge is greater than the knowledge of the TRUTH!


About the Author-

Chitra Jha is a Life Skills Coach, Corporate Trainer, and Verbal Ability Instructor.

Life Positive, Jan 2008