Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Just Relax!

Just Relax!

We use this expression very often in our day-to-day conversation. What do these words mean to you? When we say these words to someone, we intend to put their minds to rest, but do these words achieve their purpose? When someone else says these words to us, we resist their implication, and the implicit patronage. The truth is that these words weave their magic and unleash their intended meaning only when we say these words to our own selves. But how often do we do that? Instead of saying these words to others, we should be constantly chanting these to ourselves. These words are magical and they really help in relaxing us. Try saying them to you now! Closing your eyes while doing that will magnify the effect. Try it. Did you feel relaxed?

Relaxation is a much sought after state. An entire industry is working round the clock, to provide you with R&R, rest and recreation. But the fact remains that no one outside of you can ensure relaxation for you. You have to decide to relax, and then they can facilitate the process by employing various well-researched tools. But the bottom line is that you need to be willing to experience relaxation.

Just to hear ‘ok, now relax’ doesn’t really work. You have experienced it yourself. You have to go inwards and find out what it is that is putting you on edge. Identify it and solve the situation. Most of our pressure comes from not having all the facts that we need to solve a particular problem. Sometimes we pick up pressure from our colleagues, friends and family. The solution lies in being loyal to your own self above everything else. This may seem like promoting selfishness, but the truth is that you are the most important person in your life. The moment you make other people more important than you and try to please them, you are asking for trouble.

Relaxation automatically follows fun. In fact they go hand in hand. Make it your business to have fun with everything that you do. My daily affirmation reads, ‘My primary aim in life is to feel and experience joy.’ I repeat it as often as I can. This simple sentence works as a wake up call every time I get bogged down by any pressure.

Being relaxed means stopping for a while before you allow your emotions to come o the fore. Being relaxed means not being ‘reactive’ but being ‘pro-active’.

Ask yourself, ‘How can I relax more within my self and listen to the inspiration that is coming to me all the time?’ Close your eyes and let the answer come to you. Listen to the answer and follow it with your heart.

What are the keys to relaxing more and enjoying life to the fullest? Take a look at what you have. Make a list of what you have and be grateful for everything. Be the kind of person you have always wanted to be. Don’t let any lack of time, money or resources restrict you. Tune in and make sure that you are in tune with your Higher Self. Live in your feelings and not your emotions.

Eternal Solutions, January 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Eternal Quest

I was having a chat with Suma (the Chief Editor of Life Positive) when she mentioned that she had always wanted to answer various questions that keep popping up in young heads while they are on the verge of life. Since I have two sons in that stage right now, the idea interested me immensely. I immediately agreed to carry it forward. My next step was to call up my sons (one in Mumbai and other in Kolkata) and ask them about the unanswered questions that they and their friends deal with. The next day they came up with a list of questions, but most of them were career related. I was perplexed. Is this all that the young minds think about these days? Where is that existential angst that we experienced when we were of their age?

Now this question was thrown back at them. This time they came up with the kind of queries that I was expecting in the first place. I got ready to put on my ‘Life Skills Coach’s cap and write down some comprehensive answers. I was quite looking forward to this assignment. Giving ‘gyan’ to others is such fun after all! But my first born spoiled this fun for me. He said, “Ma, you can’t answer others’ questions for them. If someone has a question, that s/he wants to be answered, s/he can be certain that the answer to her/his question resides within her/him.” I couldn’t argue with this logic. These were my own words being thrown back at me! Yes, I firmly believe that if a desire has been placed in your heart, then all the mechanisms of its fulfillment are also revealed to you, if you care to look with in. Similarly, if a question pops up in your head, you just need to go within to get its answer. The only tool you need is your ‘willingness’.

The ball was back in my court! I decided to seek the solution from ‘the wise one’ who had posed the problem in the first place. He seemed slightly disappointed in me for not figuring it out by myself, and offered a simple solution, “Give the questions back to the people who asked them. Let them sit silently, get in touch with their inner self, and come up with their own answers. That way you would help them in empowering themselves and you won’t have to wrack your brain for the ‘right’ answers.” Wow! It sounded great (though I wasn’t too happy about his insinuations regarding my brain and stuff!). It seemed like a win-win situation.

So the stage was set. Each young person was given back his own question. The process of getting in touch with ‘the you-of- you’ (or I- of- I) was explained. They were asked to be ‘just willing’ to hear the answers, and have faith in the process. I was touched by their enthusiasm and openness to this new idea. (Why don’t we expose them to more of such stuff, I wonder?) They were to post their questions and the answers to me within a week, and they complied right on time. Some of them had such great experiences in the process that I feel confident they are hooked for life, just as I am! I must admit that this has been a great learning experience for me as well. For one, I have learnt to respect this young generation, like never before. I feel like clapping for them!

Well, here are some of those questions, along with the answers. These answers are enlightening enough, but if you have a special question of your own, then please follow the process and find your own special answers. You are sure to enjoy this search, just like these young men and women did!)


Shveta (20 years young)

Q- What is the purpose of my life?

Ans- The purpose of my life is to be the best that I can be. Everyday I must get better than what I was yesterday. I am not in competition with anyone. Everyone is growing at his/her own pace. I am here to just improve my own self. The choices that I make in my life are right for me, they may not be right for others. In any case I can only choose for my self. I can’t choose for others.

Mayank (22 years young)

Q- Can I go through life without being dishonest and corrupt?

Ans- Do you know any person who is honest, and happy? (He was asked a question for his question, in typical Socratic style!) If your answer is yes, then you’ve got your answer. Life is about living and letting live. It is about enjoying what you do. Can you enjoy being corrupt? If you can truly enjoy it, then make your choice. If your conscience agrees with your choice, it will let you know by making you feel both joyful and ecstatic. If instead of that you feel fear of being caught, then you know that this choice is not right for you.

Joy (21 years young)

Q- How can I achieve my goals?

Ans- First of all I must be clear about my goals. My goals should not only bring happiness to me, but also contribute in some way to the society at large. Once I am clear about a goal, I would be shown the way to its achievement. I will meet right people at the right time. The universe will conspire to make my dreams come true. Right opportunities will come my way, and I will be guided to make the best of them. It is the first step that is the most important one. Clarity opens the way for fulfillment.

Joe (19 years young)

Q- I am confused about what to do with my life. How do I get clarity?

Ans- It is very simple. There are some things that you love doing. Make a list of all those things. Don’t leave anything. Include watching television, playing computer games and listening to music, if you love doing any of these things. That love for these things was put in to your heart for some purpose. These are not mere time wasters as you have been led to believe. But you’ve got to be true to yourself. Put a thing down on your list only if you are 100% sure that you LOVE doing it. Now look at your list and try to figure out how to make a career out of these things that you absolutely love to do. You will get your answer there. Doing your labour of love makes work seem like play. Won’t you love to get paid for ‘playing’ all your life?


Ritika (21 years young)

Q- What is life really all about?

Answer- Life is about loving, sharing and enjoying. Life is about growing and learning. It is about having fun, and letting your hair down. It is about accepting things as they are, and not resisting them. Whatever we resist persists in our life. We give power to it by paying attention to it. So learn to accept things that you can’t change. But change things that you can. The important thing is to know the difference between the two. Learn to let go of resistance and let life in.

Niharika (20 years young)

Q- I find myself so full of anger and frustration. How can I get rid of these feelings?

Ans- Anger and frustration are a result of your resistance to the things as they are in your life right now. It is important to let out these feelings. Whenever you get angry, hit your pillow with all your might, get a punching bag, go for a run, or dance vigorously. Let the energy of anger dissipate. After that sit quietly and learn to accept things, people and situations as they are. The truth is that you have somehow attracted these very people, things and situations in your life. No, don’t protest! You may have done it unknowingly, unconsciously. But now reverse the process consciously. Think of the kind of people, things and situations you actually want in your life. Slowly but surely you will manifest these people and situations in your life. You are powerful, so don’t feel frustrated. Just use your power of thoughts.

(Niharika had the most profound experience. She is a changed person now. Changed for the better, that’s what her friends claim!)

Nikhil (19 years young)

Q- How do I decide what is right and what is wrong?

Ans- There is nothing that is absolutely right, and nothing that is absolutely wrong. Right and wrong are just matters of perception and conditioning. Each society, each family, each person has his own idea of what is right and what is wrong. The yardstick is individual, but the rules remain the same. If it feels good to you, and doesn’t harm anyone else, it is right for you. Listen to your body signals. It is the most accurate gauge of what is right and what is wrong for you. If your body sends signals of discomfort, it definitely isn’t right for you.
Abhijit (18 years old)

Q- What is true success?

Ans- Success is a process and not a goal. Each day you can count your successes and failures and decide if the day was successful or not. Success is cumulative, so successful days add up to successful lives. Deciding to do something (however trivial) and then doing it, or deciding not to do something (however important) and then not doing it, is being successful, as far as that thing or task is concerned. Count your successes everyday, you will get addicted to being successful.


Bikram (20 years young)

Q- Does one have to let go of idealism sooner or later?

Ans- It depends upon your ideal. If your ideal keeps resonating with you as you grow in life, you need not let go of it. But the day it loses its appeal, it is time to release it and form new ideals. Life is all about change. It can’t be static. Everything in this Universe is evolving all the time, including your ideas and ideals. Be true to yourself at every stage. You would then achieve your ideal.

Nikita (17 years young)

Q- Why do most adults seem less happy, less enthusiastic, and more burdened as they grow older?

Ans- These people are stuck in the webs of their own making. In their race to be more, have more, and do more, they have forgotten how to enjoy life. They are like robots. They are lost, yet no one can rescue them but themselves. They need to wake up and smell the roses, so to say! If you are clear about your purpose in life, that is to care and to share, you will never become like them. Life will be a song and a dance for you. Problems will come your way, but you will take them for what they truly are, great lessons of life in disguise of problems. You will overcome them with great equanimity and emerge a winner. You will always have that spark in your eyes, because you are special, as everyone else is. Unfortunately for them, they forgot this precious truth a long time ago.

Akshit (18 years young)

Q- What is this thing called God? I do not feel any closeness to God. Why do I need God?

Ans- God is just a name given to the unseen, but great Power that keeps this Universe in order. You may give it any name that you like. It doesn’t mind that! You are made of the same stuff that this Power is made of, so in a sense, you are God (or whatever you call It) too. This Power resides within you, in your DNA. You can connect with it any time you want to, by just desiring the connection. But you need to be silent to experience the connection. It is so subtle in the beginning that you might miss it if you are not too mindful. But eventually as you become more aware of this Power, you will feel it all the time, all around you. That will be a special day!


Aseem (22 years young)

Q- I look within but I do not find any resources to succeed in life. I am afraid. Is there any hope for me?

Ans- If you operate from the platform of fear, fear will be your constant companion. But if you shun its company and choose to befriend faith instead, all your fears will dissipate like the darkness does when the sun shines. You need to look within with the hope of finding answers, with total faith in your abilities. Only then will you find your real Power, and your life will be full of renewed hope and vigour.

Ashima (21 years young)

Q- Why do good people suffer?

Ans- Challenges in life are inevitable for so called good and bad people alike. But suffering, like being happy, is a choice that people make (again good or bad alike). Life teaches its lessons for your growth and evolution. If you choose to ignore the lessons and focus on the event alone, you invite suffering. Suffering is not inherent in the problem. It is but a reaction to a given situation. Good people (or even bad people for that matter) can choose not to suffer. If people learn to accept all life situations as opportunities for growth, there will be no suffering. But people have a long way to go, before achieving that stage.

Aakash (20 years young)

Q- Why is life so complicated?

Ans- Life is not complicated, we think that it is complicated, and in the process complicate it for ourselves. Life is actually very simple. We are given this life to experience growth, joy, love, and care. But we want to be one up on others. Now that is not acceptable to the life-giver. The Universe believes in abundance for all, while we believe in everything for I, me, and myself. This produces the contradictions, and the complications. If we begin to be less competitive, and more creative, all the complications will resolve by themselves. It is that simple.

Dia (21 years young)

Q- Why is there so much uncertainty in life?

Ans- Uncertainty is the spice of life. Learn to embrace it and accept it gratefully. How boring would life be if everything was known before hand. There would be no fun in living then. It is like reading the entire script of a movie, and then going to watch it. Would it be fun anymore? The beauty of life lies in its unfolding. Each day brings in new surprises, new challenges, and new gifts. The anticipation of a new day gives meaning to life. Uncertainty is your friend. It is the mother of all potential possibilities.


Shreya (22 years young)

Q- How do I get the best out of life?

Ans- Simple. You will get best out of life by giving it your best shot. You get what you give. So if you want love, give more love. If you want respect, give more respect. If you want to succeed, help someone succeed. Life always pays you back in your own coin. It is but a mirror of your inner self. It always reflects your true reality. So go ahead, do your best, and be your best. Life will always give you the best then.


P.S. - I was in for a great shock (and laughter later on) when I realized that my sons had played a prank on me. They gave me the answers from my own lectures to them, and their friends (like true friends!) played along. But I had the last laugh when I told them that the purpose of my exercise has been achieved; now that so many young people are privy to THE knowledge! Some food for thought!!


P.P.S- Well, these are the questions that most of us ask ourselves. These young people got readymade answers, but I hope that these answers will change their world for them; for no knowledge is greater than the knowledge of the TRUTH!


About the Author-

Chitra Jha is a Life Skills Coach, Corporate Trainer, and Verbal Ability Instructor.

Life Positive, Jan 2008

Friday, January 18, 2008

To Give or Not to Give

When I was a child I was told not to encourage beggars by giving alms to them, yet giving alms to the needy was extolled as a virtue in the bedtime stories my mother told us. I could not understand the difference between the two contradictory messages. Since ‘not giving’ suited me very well, I never really questioned my elders. I grew up thinking that beggars were a menace to society. I would not only not give any alms, but also offer them a piece of advice, ‘Why don’t you go and work somewhere?’ Sometimes I would lie, ‘I don’t have any money’, but then I would remember the moral of ‘Satya Narayan Katha’ where the same lie told by a merchant to a beggar turned his entire riches to dust. On such occasions I would reluctantly toss a coin in their open palms. Needless to say I was always left nursing feelings of guilt and remorse after my encounter with beggars (a common, unavoidable, everyday affair in our country).
When my younger son started noticing my behavior with beggars, he said something profound that changed my outlook forever. He said that if someone extends his arm to you to ask for something, the least you can do is- give. His innocent words set me thinking. Why do I have to be moralistic about giving? Is it easy to beg on the streets? If I want to give some money to someone just like that, will he/she take it? How difficult is it for me to ask for anything from anyone? It must be difficult for them as well. They have completely lost their dignity in deciding to beg, this must be the last resort for them. And even if they are doing it for easy money, who am I to sit in judgment?
Ever since that day I decided to give alms to everyone who extended his/her arm towards me. But old conditioning takes time to change. In my wisdom, I decided that it was okay to give to old destitute people and lepers (who had no choice but to beg), but I still could not encourage begging by children, and young women with infants in their arms. I reasoned that these are well bodied people who ought to earn their living by the brow of their sweat, just like the rest of us.
Even though I was giving alms now, it was more out of duty than pleasure. Sometimes I would give reluctantly, without looking the beggar in the eye. At other times I would think thoughts of lack while giving (such as- I am going to soon run out of money or I hope I don’t encounter any more beggars today). In short giving was not something that I did joyfully and out of a sense of abundance. I was not really comfortable with the thought of giving.
Then I read Deepak Chopra’s ‘Seven Laws of Success’. It was an eye opener. The simplicity of his logic floored me. ‘Whatever you give comes back to you many folds; provided you give with love and joy in your heart’. It reminded me of ‘the boomerang effect.’ Just like a boomerang curves in the air and comes back to you, what ever you ‘throw’ out to the world circles around and lands back at your step. I see this law constantly operating in my life and I am sure so do you. When I smile at someone, in most cases, they smile back. If I am kind to someone, they return my kindness. In a similar vein, when I complain to someone, they share their complaints with me. If I get angry at someone, they get angry with me. Some things come back to me instantly, while some take time. But the fact remains that whatever I give out comes back to me.
Ever since I have understood this truth, life has become much simpler. If I want more joy and happiness, I make it a point to bring happiness into other’s lives. Similarly when I need more money, I give some away. Now I do it from my heart, with a feeling of joy, gratitude and abundance. Knowing fully well that if I give from the space of feeling guilty because I think I should give even though I don’t want to, I will continue to create more feelings of guilt and of being deprived.
I also understand that if you plant one seed, you don’t just get one back. You get thousands! Similarly the Universe gives back my ‘giving’ to me in multiplication of thousands, not as a reward, but to fulfill my faith in abundance. When I give to someone out of love, I send a message of faith to the universe- the faith that my coffers will be replenished. And the Universe answers my faith in affirmative. It is as simple as that. There is no promise of increase unless we give freely.
All giving should be an expression of joy. We should give because of love. The feeling with which we give is the spirit of giving. When we give with joy, the energy we send forth is that of joy. This energy is the most important aspect of our giving. The energy we give out is the energy that will come back to us.
Now every time I give, I silently say these words, ‘There is a lot more where this comes from.’ After all I am just a channel; the real source of giving is the Universe. I have placed my complete faith in it and as a result of that I am a far happier person today. I love giving--- and I love receiving.


Life Positive, Jan 2008, Chitra Jha

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Manifesting Miracles

Miracles are natural. When you awaken to the true nature of reality and discover it is not the solid world it appears to be and that you are its source not subject, you begin to experience life as the magical dream that it truly is. The more you acknowledge yourself as the powerful co-creator that you are, the more you will step into a whole new way of living, creating and experiencing your life where synchronicities and serendipities abound and miracles no longer surprise you (in fact, you come to expect them!).
“There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein

Your world is not separate from you; what’s more it is malleable. Your heart and mind hold the keys to its mastery. It is you that determines what exists from the infinite field of possibility (what in Quantum Physics terms is called the ‘Zero Point Field’ that is the foundation of all matter).

Your reality is a hologram of your consciousness, a reflection and extension of the entirety of your mind. When you change, so does your world. It can’t not.

You are a miraculous manifesting machine creating your reality in every moment! You can’t not create. The key is to become conscious of how you do so. This is the art of true alchemy.

You can create miracles by harnessing the tools of your consciousness. These include your beliefs, attitudes, thoughts and feelings, your desire (the fuel that breathes life into your dreams and seeds your intentions), imagination (the boundless palate with which you craft your world), positive emotional resonance (love, trust, gratitude, fun and so forth), connection to your bright future (experiencing it ‘for real’ in your heart and mind NOW to engage future causation) and choice itself (the flagship of free will that can direct and determine all preceding elements).

Not only can you be manifesting miracles consciously, you can also invite them into your life by the grace of co-creation, by allowing the universe to gift you, love you and bless you simply by asking and being open and willing to receive.
You both consciously and unconsciously create the world around you, yet you are not alone in the process. You are a co-creator with the source of life, what ever name you hold for such, that ever conspires in your favour and will perform any amount of miracles and magic for the attainment of your desires.
You deserve all that your heart desires. You are the only one that can stand in your way. Expand your vision of the possible and open to receive. The only limits are those that exist within your own mind. The universe always says yes. Will you?
The more you recognize that you are eternally connected to an all-loving infinitely abundant source, the more you will allow in the grace of co-creation.
The fastest way to activate miracles in your life is through the gateway of love. Love is the highest vibration in the universe.
You are a spiritual being born of love. The essence of who you are is love itself. You are inherently lovable and have always and will always be loved by the heart of creation. Miracles are love in action.
The universe loves you more than you are able to fully know. It loves you totally and unconditionally. There is nothing you can do to lose that love, and nothing you need do to win it.
The more you connect to this truth, the more magic and miracles you will allow into your life and the more effortless your successes will become, for you will realize there is no separation between you and the love of Source and anything you desire can be yours by choice.