The Secret of Lasting Happiness

All of us want to be happy. In fact whatever be our pursuit, finally happiness is the key that unlocks all the doors to success. But why is happiness so elusive? Why is it so temporary? Why can’t we be happy all the time? What stops us from being happy? Have you ever pondered over these questions? I have. And finally I have found the source of everlasting happiness.

When we are unhappy we look outwards for its cause. We blame people, circumstances and events for our unhappiness; even though we are intellectually aware that happiness comes from within. What is it inside us that causes us to be unhappy?

I have come to believe that our unhappiness stems from our feelings of self hatred, self denial, self loathing, self put-downers, inadequacies; feeling of not being enough, doing enough or having enough; being too judgemental and critical of ourselves, demanding too much from ourselves, trying to achieve more than we can etc.

So how can we achieve happiness? We can remain happy only by loving ourselves. It doesn’t mean feeling narcissistic; it just means accepting ourselves the way we are and acknowledging it to ourselves, no matter what the outside world thinks of us, no matter what our so called reality reflects to us. Just love yourself, approve of yourself, feel proud of yourself, and be amazed at yourself.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Your differences make you unique. You know that no two snowflakes are ever similar; no two daisies bloom the same way, no two poplars stand in the same manner. Then why do you want two human beings to be the same? Why do we compare ourselves with others?

Each one of us is unique. We have each brought a message for the evolution of this planet. Each one is carrying a different message to be delivered in a different way. There are thousand ways of doing a thing, why do we expect us all to be proficient in all the ways? Suffice it to know that there is one thing that you can do better than any other human being in this world. Discover that one thing. Discover your unique talent and express it in your unique way. You will be happiest doing just that. Keep encouraging yourself, loving yourself and approving of yourself all the while.

Please allow me to ask you a few questions.

How many times a day do you say something nice to yourself?How many times a day do you think something kind about yourself?How many times a day do you celebrate your baby steps forward, towards your goals?
Well, tell the truth... If you are like most people, the number of compliments you pay yourself are much lower than the number of put downs, criticisms or judgments you lay on yourself.
Do this awareness exercise:
Notice what happens to your body and emotional self when you say unkind things to them... Say a typical comment you make everyday to yourself such as, "Who do you think you are?" Or "How stupid of you to do that!"
Now notice how your cells respond. Take a deep breath and clear out the damage.
Next, notice what happens to your body and emotional self when you say kind things to them. For example, tell your feet how much you appreciate them carrying you around all day today... How do your feet respond? Or thank your legs for still working... or your heart for still beating... How do they respond?
Appreciate all your body parts and bless them. Appreciate your unique talents and bless them. Appreciate yourself and bless yourself. Notice how you feel. I always end up feeling happy and content after this exercise.
Try it out for yourself!
Eternal Solutions, November 2007